Blood and sweat—literally blood—greeted the living room of the Rodriguez family.
Their father, Don Peping, had just been buried, but his two children, Carding and Viring, were already in a boxing ring.
“The 50 hectares in Batangas is mine!” shouted Carding, clutching a kitchen knife. “I’m the eldest son! I’m the one who carries the surname!”
“What eldest son?!” Viring yelled back, holding a large fork. “I was the one changing Daddy’s diapers when he had a stroke! You were just at the cockfight! The land is mine!”
The two clashed. Pushing. Hair pulling.
SHING!
Carding’s knife grazed Viring’s arm. It bled a little.
“Ouch! Are you trying to kill me?!”
PLOK!
Viring stabbed Carding’s thigh with the fork.
“Ouch! My thigh!”
Bloody and breathless, they suddenly stopped as the door opened.
Attorney Sison, the family lawyer, entered.
“Stop it!” he roared. “Your father just died, and you’re trying to kill each other! Sit down if you want to hear the Last Will and Testament!”
Hearing the word “Will,” they immediately froze. They quickly sat on the sofa, even while bleeding.
“Attorney, read it now. I’m sure Daddy left everything to me,” said Carding, wrapping up his thigh.
“Hmph! In your dreams,” Viring scoffed, putting a band-aid on her arm.
The Attorney opened the sealed envelope. He adjusted his glasses and suppressed a laugh.
“Ahem… This is the last testament of Jose ‘Peping’ Rodriguez…”
The siblings’ ears were glued to his voice.
“To my children, Carding and Viring…”
They both smiled. Confirmed, they were included.
“…I know that by the time this is being read, you are already fighting. I know you both. You are greedy, lazy, and you were just waiting for me to die.”
Their smiles vanished. They looked at each other, sweat forming on their brows.
“Carding, when I was hospitalized, I asked you for money to buy medicine, but you said you had none, even though you were at the sabungan (cockfight) then.
Viring, on my birthday, you didn’t come home because you were in Boracay, using my pension money.”
“It’s okay,” Carding whispered. “It’s just a lecture… the land is what matters.”
The Attorney continued:
“I have thought long and hard about who truly loved me without expecting anything in return… always happy to see me… never asking for money…”
Viring’s face brightened. “That’s me! That’s me!”
“Therefore, my 50 Hectares in Batangas… the Rest House in Tagaytay… and the 20 Million Pesos in the bank…”
The siblings held their breath…
“…I fully and wholly bequeath to… BROWNIE, TAGPI, AND BLACKIE.”
Carding stared blankly. “Who are they? Are they our cousins?”
“You idiot! They are our dogs! The askal (local mixed-breed dogs) in the backyard!” Viring shrieked.
The Attorney continued:
“All my assets will go to the ‘Bantay Animal Shelter Foundation’ for the care of my dogs and other homeless animals.
Even dogs know how to be grateful. As for you two—you just bark and bark, but you bite when there’s no inheritance.”
“P.S. Carding and Viring, you inherit Brownie’s ticks. Good luck.”
Silence.
Carding stared at the lawyer. “Is this serious? To the dogs?”
“It is serious,” the Attorney answered and showed the document bearing Brownie’s paw print as a witness.
Viring’s vision suddenly blurred. “My wealth… turned into Dog Chow…”
BLAG! She fainted.
Carding clutched his chest. “The 50 hectares… will just be peed on by a dog…”
BLAG! He also collapsed.
Brownie entered, head held high, tail wagging…
He peed on Carding’s car tire.
Aw! Aw! (Translation: “Get out of my house.”)
The ending:
The siblings only got tetanus shots and heartache…
While Brownie and his crew became the wealthiest dogs in the province.